Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
