White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
