you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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