i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
