I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize