how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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