New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you never un-have a 4some
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
