i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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