Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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