My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
