Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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