HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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