I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
