he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize