My brain says no but my pants say off.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
