I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
