Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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