my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
