Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
