it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think a kid would responsible me up
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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