If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize