i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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