Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
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Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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