I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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