I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
