I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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