My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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