dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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