Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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