i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
