i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Holy shit dude........stairs
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