i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
