I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
