My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
