I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
