Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
