he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize