Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
