Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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