It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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