I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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