my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize