i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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