I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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