I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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