Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
