My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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