i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
