We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
