whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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