sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
