i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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