she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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