we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
