That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
