I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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