you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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