How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
