you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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